Episode 301 - Rainforest Schmainforest [Mr. Garrison's Class] Mr. Garrison: Ok children we have a special guest today, a woman recruiting young people for a national choir tour. Now I know that choir tours are totally stupid and lame, but please give her your full attention. [To choir teacher] Go ahead. Choir teacher: Uh, thank you Mr. Garrison. [to class] How are we all doing, today? [silence] Choir teacher: I can't hear you! I said how are we all doing? [Cartman farts] Mr. Garrison: Eric Cartman, you say excuse me! Cartman: Okay Mr. Garrison: Go ahead Choir teacher: Children, we're a national choir called Getting Gay with Kids. We're gonna do a big tour down in Central America to help save the rainforest and you can be a part of it. Kenny: {This is fuckin stupid} [Kids laugh] Mr. Garrison: Kenny McCormick, you speak when you're spoken to! [Silence] Mr. Garrison: Go ahead Choir teacher: You see, we take kids from all over the country and put them in a choir [Pip yawns] where they sing and dance to raise awareness about our vanishing rainforests. Kid: Did you know over ten thousand acres of rainforest are bulldozed every year? Kelly: That's right and over thirty percent of the world's oxygen is made in the rainforests [Kenny begin's to look like he's in love] Choir teacher: So who wants to join the fun? Cartman: What if you don't have any rhythm? Choir teacher: Excuse me Cartman: Like my friend Kyle. He's Jewish, so he doesn't have any rhythm. Kyle: Shut up, fatass! Stan: Choirs suck! Mr. Garrison: Kyle Broflofsky, you watch your language! Eric Cartman, you be nice to people! Stan Marsh, you mind your manners! Kenny McCormick, you pay attention! [sighs] Mr. Garrison: Go ahead Choir teacher: Well that's all really. So if anyone is interested in seeing the rainforest and joining our choir, I'll leave information packets up front. Cartman: Oh, that's good. We need some more toilet paper. [Kids laugh] Mr. Garrison: Alright! That does it! [Mr. Mackie's office] Mr. Mackie: I am tired of seeing you in my office, young man. You get sent here every day, Craig. Craig: I know. Mr. Mackie: Why can't you behave? Craig: I don't know. Mr. Mackie: What do you have to say for yourself. [silence] Well I'll tell you what young man, you're gonna be held back a grade if you don't... [Craig gives Mackie the finger] Mr. Mackie: Did you just flip me off? Craig: No Mr. Mackie: Yes you did! You just flipped me the bird! Now see, this is exactly what I'm talking about! If you don't shape up, mmmkay, and get your head straight... [Craig gives Mackie the finger again] Mr. Mackie: There! You just flipped me off again! Craig: No I didn't. Mr. Mackie: Yes you did! And until you stop flipping people off, you can just go back to the waiting room, mmmkay! Next! [Craig leaves] [The scamps enter] Mr Mackie: Well well well. If it isn't Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Eric. Kyle: Hi Craig Cartman: Hey, don't flip me off, you sonofabitch! Mr. Mackie: Sit down boys. Now let's see, what did Mr. Garrison send you in here for. Mr. Mackie [reading a piece of paper]: The boys were being rude while a choir teacher was giving some stupid presentation Stan: It's just some dumb activist kids choir thing! Mr. Mackie: Young man, Getting Gay with Kids is not dumb, mmmkay! It just so happens that I'm on the board of directors. Kyle: Dude, all those choirs are the same. They don't even really sing. They use prerecorded tapes. Mr. Mackie: Well guess what boys, I think Getting Gay with Kids is just what you need. I'm gonna sign up all four of you. [the four look surprised] Stan: What! Kyle: You can't do that! Kenny: {Whoopee!} [silence] { I mean Oh} Mr. Mackie: I think this will be very good for you. Stan: But we don't even care about the rainforests. Mr. Mackie: And that's exactly why you need to go, mmmkay. [Cartman gets out of his seat and gets on his knees] Cartman: Please, Mr. Mackie, we'll be good, don't send us to that old kid choir, have mercy Mr. Mackie [In front of Kyle's house] [The Getting Gay with Kids bus is parked out front] Mrs. Broflofsky: Be safe Kyle. Bring me something back from the rainforest. Choir teacher: Oh no no no. The rainforest is very fragile. We must take only pictures and leave only footprints. Mrs. Broflofsky: Oh, I didn't realize. Kid on bus: Did you know that right now bulldozers are tearing down thousands of acres of rainforest everyday. Cartman [getting on the bus]: Ah man, this is gonna suck donkey balls Stan [being dragged by his mother]: Please don't make me go on a choir tour, mom, please! Mrs. Marsh: Stan, you should be excited. I would love to see the rainforest. Besides, your dad and I need some time alone. [Mrs. Marsh throws Stan on the bus] Stan: No! [The bus leaves] [Stan and Kyle look out the back window] [On the Getting Gay with Kids Bus] Choir teacher: Okay children, that's all of us. We're ready to head to the Latin American nation of Costa Rica, a country filled with virgin rainforests. Cartman [sarcastically]: Whoopee! Choir teacher: And you must be Eric Cartman. I've heard about you. You don't respect nature or other cultures. Cartman: Yeah, pretty much Choir teacher: Well I'm gonna change the way you think kiddo. [Kenny sits next to Kelly] Kelly: My name is Kelly. Kenny: {My name is Kenny} Kelly: Lenny? Kenny: {No, Kenny!} Kelly: Donnie? Kenny: {KENNY!} Kelly: Oh [she picks her nose] Choir teacher: Now we've got a long trip ahead of us, so let's take the opportunity to learn our choreography. Cartman: The nightmare begins [shot of the bus] [shot of a map. it shows the bus going to California, through Baja Mexico, across Mexico, over the Gulf of Mexico, down though Central America, and into Costa Rica with a dot indicating San Jose] [San Jose, Costa Rica] [on the bus] Choir teacher: Oh look children, I think we're entering San Jose, which is the capital of Costa Rica [all the children look out the window] Choir teacher: Oh this is so exciting! Cartman: Oh my God, dude, look how dirty and crappy everything is Choir teacher: Eric, Costa Rica is a third world county. These people are much poorer than those in the US Cartman: Well why the hell don't they get jobs [Cartman yells out the window] Cartman: Hey why don't you people quit slacking off and get a job. What's wrong with you? Go to college Choir teacher: Eric, sit down! Cartman: Look, you gotta be firm with these people or they just slack off and be poor forever, right Kenny? [Kenny looks pissed off] Cartman: Hey, maybe that's it, Kenny, maybe you're Costa Rican, that's why your family is so poor Kenny [angrily]: {You fuckin asshole} (?) Kelly [picking her nose]: Your family isn't poor? Cartman: Whoa dude, look over there! Wow, Costa Rican prostitutes! Hey, look at the prostitutes you guys! [They all look at the prostitutes] Prostitute #1: What are you looking at, man? Prostitute #2: Yeah, why don't you take a picture? Cartman: Okay. [motion like taking a picture] Click! Choir teacher: Eric, sit down! [Outside the Costa Rican capital building] [The bus pulls up] Choir teacher: Kids, this is the Costa Rican capital building. This is where all the leaders of the Costa Rican government make their... Cartman [holding his nose]: Oh my God, it smells like ass out here! Choir teacher: Alright, that does it! Eric Cartman, you respect others cultures this instant Cartman: I wasn't saying anything about their culture, I was just saying there city smells like ass Kelly: Wow! Seeing a place like this makes you appreciate living in America, huh? Kenny: {Uh huh} [Kelly picks her nose] Choir teacher: You may think that making fun of third world countries is funny but let me... Cartman: I don't think it's funny! This place is overcrowded, smelly, and poor! That's not funny, that sucks! Choir teacher: Eric, will you please, PLEASE, keep your mouth shut while we present ourselves to the Costa Rican President. Cartman: Why? Choir teacher: Cause I'll buy you some ice cream afterwards if you do. [Cartman cheers] [President's office] Choir teacher: Well, it was a very long trip, but the children are very excited to sing tomorrow [silence] El Presidente: Que? ("what" in Spanish) Choir teacher: Uh, we're the choir that was sent from the United States [silence] El Presidente: Que? Choir teacher: We're the group singing for the save the rainforest summit tomorrow [silence] Oh dear, where's Mr. Mackie? He should have been here by now [to the children] Children, do any of you speak Spanish? [Cartman raises his hand] Choir teacher: Don't you dare! [Mr. Mackie enters] Mr. Mackie: Sorry I'm late Choir teacher: Oh, thank goodness you're here, I don't speak any Spanish Mr. Mackie: Oh no problem. [starts speaking in Spanish to El Presidente] Ustedas choir de estados unidos, mmmbien? El Presidente: Oh, oh, save the rainforest. Choir teacher: Yes! [El Presidente says something in Spanish] Mr. Mackie: Uh, he says Pablo here will take you on a rainforest tour Choir teacher: Oh boy! Mr. Presidente, round up your subjects outside. We have a special gift for you, the gift of song. [silence] El Presidente: Que? [Outside the Capitol of Costa Rica] Choir teacher: Alright children, let's get in our rows quickly so we can begin. Kelly: Did you remember all the choreography, Lenny? Kenny: {Yeah, I think so} Choir teacher: Hello everybody. This is just a little rehearsal for tomorrow so we may be a little rusty [chuckle] [music starts] [Kyle fails to keep with the choreography throughout] Kids: Doo doo doo doo. Doo doo doo wa. There's a place that is magical and full of rain, but now it needs help because it is in pain. Cleaning the earth is a mighty big chore. We're spreading awareness like never before. Getting Gay with Kids is here. Spread the word and bring you cheer. Let's save the rainforest, what do you say. Being an activist is totally gay. And someday if we work hard, boys and girls, they'll be nothing but rainforest covering the entire world. Getting Gay with Kids is here. Spread the word and bring you cheer. Getting Gay with Kids is here. Save the rainforest, totally gay, totally gay! [music stops] [silence] [crowd leaves] Choir teacher: Great job, gang! You were really all over the place, Kyle. Kyle: Thanks Cartman: I told you Jewish people don't have rhythm! Kyle: Fuck off, Cartman! Stan: No, dude, I think Cartman might actually be right! Kyle: No, that's a stereotype Stan: Dude, maybe you really don't have any rhythm! [closeup of Kyle] [Cut to commercial] [in the rainforest] Tour guide: Now, secondary rainforest we are entering. Notice the canopy of foliage. Choir teacher: Oh! It's everything I've ever dreamed it would be! Kyle: God damn, it's hot out here! [Stan sees a stick] [they stop walking] Stan: Ah! Snake! Kyle: No, dude, that's a branch. Stan: Oh... Ah! Snake! Kyle: No, that's the same branch again. Stan: Oh Tour guide: The rainforest is very delicate and we must take steps to protect it Cartman [mockingly]: Yeah yeah yeah, take steps, we're taking them, blah blah blah [silence] We heard this a million times back up in the states. Tour guide: Here look! These are squirrel monkeys, endangered inhabitants of the rainforest. Kelly: Wow! Isn't he neat, Lenny? [she takes a picture of the monkey] [Cartman walks up and hit the monkey with a stick] Cartman: Bad! Bad monkey! Choir teacher: Eric! What the hell are you doing? Cartman: I'm asserting myself. It's tough love. Just like my little Kitty. When he's bad, I'll say "that's a bad little Kitty" and I smack him on the head. Tour guide: And here is a three-toed sloth [Cartman hits the sloth with a stick] Cartman: That's a bad... That's a bad three-toed sloth! Choir teacher: Eric! For God's sake, knock it off! [Cartman throws the stick at the sloth] Cartman: Respect my autoritay! Choir teacher: Well Mr. Pedro, this was a great tour, but I guess we should be heading back, we have a big concert tomorrow, don't we kids? Some kids: Yeah! Kid: I wish we could have seen the Yanagapa. Kyle: What's the Yanagapa? Choir teacher: The Yanagapa are gentle native people that live in the rainforest, but bulldozers are destroying their homes. Soon they will have nowhere to go, so we must stop bulldozing the rainforest so that they can live... [Cartman covers his eyes] Cartman: God, here she goes again! [Stan sees a snake] [Stan screams] Choir teacher: Stanley, what is it? Stan: Snake! [Kids gasp] Tour guide: Ah, yes, this is what we call a coral snake. Notice the red markings. Quite an amazing creature. [Stan screams and runs away] Tour guide: What's the matter little boy? Cartman: He's a little wuss, what's it look like. Stan [hiding in the bushes]: I'm just scared of snakes. Tour guide: Now, now. You must remember, this snake is more afraid of you than you are of it. [the snake jumps on him] Tour guide: Ah! [he falls to the ground] Choir teacher: Oh my God! [the snake begins to eat the tour guide] Cartman: Oh yeah. That snake is really scared of us, alright. [the snake continues to eat the tour guide] Choir teacher: Jesus Christ, is he dead? [the snake finishes eating the tour guide] Stan: Dude! Kyle: My guess would be yes. Choir teacher: Oh no! God, no! Now, don't panic children! [Cartman his the snake with a stick] Cartman: Bad! That's a bad snake! Ahhh... [the snake chases after him and he runs from it] [shot of the rainforest] [in the rainforest] Choir teacher: Maybe we came from that way [points one way] No, no, let's try this way [points the other way] Kelly: Benny, do you think we're gonna be okay? Kenny: {Yeah, everything is fine} Kelly: That's good. Can I tell you something? Kenny: {Okay} Kelly: I think I like you. Kenny: {Really!} Kelly: Yeah. I mean, I think we communicate really well. Kenny: {Oh! That's great!} Kelly: No, it's not good. Kenny: {That's not good?} Kelly: No. See, if I start to like you too much, I'm only gonna get my heart broken, 'cause we like on opposite ends of the country. Once this choir tour is over, we will never see each other again. And that would devastate me! So I can't have any feelings for you, I just can't, Lenny! [she walks off] [Kenny grumbles angrily] Choir teacher: Oh children, the sun is setting. We have to find our way out of here quick! [nighttime] [a thunderstorm is raging] [in the rainforest] Choir teacher: Okay, Okay! Everything is just fine kids. Now, it is important that we all stick together. Is everybody still here? Kid: I'm not. Choir teacher: Who's not? Kid: Me. Kelly: Benny, will you hold my hand. [Kenny holds her hand] I don't wanna get emotionally attached, though. Stan: Oh my God, dude! I just saw Tony Danza! Choir teacher: No, you didn't just see Tony Danza, Stanley! [shot of the kids with Tony Danza sitting in with the group] [Save the Rainforest stage] El Presidente: Bueno, bueno [subtitles] El Presidente: Put the rainbow next to picture of the dying sea turtles. [Mr. Mackie enters] Mr. Mackie: Buenos dias el se¤or presidente, mmmbien. [subtitle "Hello, El Presidente"] [subtitles] El Presidente: Oh hello. is everything going okay? Mr. Mackie: Uh fine, fine. Mr. Mackie: You, uh, haven't seen the choir have you? El Presidente: WHAT... Mr. Mackie: Well they never came back to the hotel last night... El Presidente: You've got to be kidding... El Presidente: I have over a hundred thousand people coming to this event!!! El Presidente: Are you telling me... El Presidente: I have no darling little kids to sing to them?! Mr. Mackie: I am sure they'll get... here. Mr. Mackie: No problem. Forget I said anything. [rainforest] Stan: Dude, we're totally lost. We're gonna die out here! Kelly: We are?! Choir teacher: Don't worry Kelly, we're gonna find our way out of the rainforest and make it back to the concert in time. We just need to respect our mother rainforest and she will respect us. Kyle: Mrs. Stevens. You have a bug on your back. Choir teacher: Really? Could you brush it off? [Shows a gigantic insect clinging to her backpack] [the insect roars] Kyle: Uh, No. [choir teacher starts jumping around] Choir teacher: Oh my God! Get it off me! For the love of God! Get it off me! Oh my God! [she runs off screaming] [she comes back] Choir teacher [calmly]: Okay children, we must understand that the insects of the rainforest help the delicate balance of life here. [insect roars] Choir teacher: Oh my God! [runs off screaming] Kyle: Rainforests suck, I wanna go home! Kelly: Me too! [shot of the rainforest] [all the kids groaning] [in the rainforest] Choir teacher: Shhh! Children, Okay! Let's try to listen to what the rainforest tells us, and if we use our ears, she can tell us so many things... [Kyle bumps into a soldier] Kyle: Ahh... There's a dude here! Choir teacher: Ah thank goodness! Hello sir! We are lost! Can you help us? [silence] Soldier: Que? Cartman: Let me try. Let me try. [to soldier] We are from America, A-mer-i-ca. We are lost and very hungry. Neccesito burrito... Stan: I don't wanna burrito I wanna taco. Supreme Cartman: Y taco... Kyle: I want two tostados in mild sauce. Cartman: Two tostados in... en charida. Choir teacher: Boys! Please! Not every Spanish person eats tacos and burritos, that's a stereotype. [soldier motions them to follow] Choir teacher: Children, he wants us to follow him. Oh, thank goodness! I think this ordeal is over! [military camp] Stan: This doesn't look very safe. Kyle: Yeah, I think we should get the hell out of here. Choir teacher: Now kids, let's be a bit more open minded. I read all about this in Newsweek, this is a people's army, they're fighting the fascist policies of their fascist government. [they walk over to a table where a Chief and two guards are] Choir teacher: Oh, hello! Do you speak English? Military Chief: Who are you? Choir teacher: Oh wonderful! We were lost and it is a such a great coincidence we found you! You see, we're here to protest the government sanction raping of your rainforest. [silence] We are fighters just like you! Could you help us get back to San Jose? [silence] Um, I know! Perhaps you would like a gift. I have only one gift to give. The gift of song. [kids moan] [music starts] Kids: Doo doo doo doo. Doo doo doo wa. There's a place that is magical and full of rain... Choir teacher: Kyle, for the love of God, do the right choreography. Kids: Cleaning the earth is a mighty big chore. We're spreading awareness like never before. Choir teacher: Oh, Kyle! Please! Kids: Getting Gay with Kids is here... [music stops] Military Chief: Enough! Choir teacher: Well, we hope our gift of song has warmed your hearts. Military Chief: We're not getting gay with any kids, okay! Choir teacher: Uh, yeah. So, do you have a phone we could use? Military Chief: Yes, we have a phone. It's right over there, next to the twelve person jacuzzi. [military Chief laughs] [all the soldiers laugh] Military Chief: Now, get out of here before we kill you. Choir teacher: Is it because of the little Jewish boy's choreography? Kyle: Hey! Military Chief: You white Americans make me sick! You waste food, oil, and everything else, because you are so rich. And then you tell the rest of the world to save the rainforest because you like it's pretty flowers. [the soldiers start shooting at the choir] [kids scream] Military Chief: Rapido, rapido! [Kenny jumps in front of Kelly] Choir teacher: Run! Children! Run! [the choir leaves with gunshots still firing at them] [cut to commercial] [Save the Rainforest stage] [Mr. Mackie and El Presidente are speaking Spanish with subtitles] El Presidente: Where the hell is our choir? El Presidente: The show is supposed to start soon! Mr. Mackie: Don't worry, Mr. Mackie: El Presidente, they'll be here. Mr. Mackie: This is too important for the choir teacher to miss. [rainforest, alongside a river] Choir teacher: Hello! Anybody?! Help! Kid: Wow! Look at the pretty flower! Choir teacher: Oh, no, no, no, Jake that fragile flower is very delicate, okay. [the flower grabs and swallows the kid] [the kid screams] [choir teacher screams and tries to pull the kid out] Kelly [crying]: Boo hoo hoo! I wanna go home! I hate the rainforest! [Kenny comes over to her and puts his arm around her] Kenny: mmrmmph mmrmmph mmrmmph Kelly: Oh, Lenny, hold me! [she pulls away] No, I can't get attached. [pauses] [she move back toward Kenny] Oh, but I do like you. Kenny: {And I love you...} (?) Kelly: Oh, but you're only going to leave me. [she pulls away] Kenny: {Ah! God damn it!} (?) [press box by the Save the Rainforest stage] Announcer #1: We're here live in San Jose, Costa Rica, where hundreds of rich Americans have gathered for the Save the Rainforest Summit. Everyone is here so they can feel good about themselves and act like they aren't the ones responsible for the rainforest's peril. Announcer #2: That's right, Bob, and of course the main attraction today is the darling kids choir, Getting Gay with Kids, all of whom must be backstage preparing at this very moment. [in the rainforest] Choir teacher: Oh, there's just no end to this place! I think maybe we're going in circles. [she looks at her watch] Oh! Dear God! The summit starts in an hour! I'm gonna lose my job. [insect on her back roars] [she screams and runs around] Cartman: This is bullcrap! I am not following this stupid hippie around anymore! [Cartman walks off] Choir teacher: Eric, where are you going? Cartman: I'm going this way. Choir teacher: Young man, I am the adult here, and I say you go this way [Cartman stops] Cartman: Look, you can stay over myah, [points one way] but I'm going over myah [points the other way]. Choir teacher: Young man, I have had it! Cartman: No no no no no no! You myah [points one way], me myah [points the other way]. Screw you guys, I'm going home. Choir teacher: Good! You deserve to die, you little bastard! [pause] Eric, we have to stay together! [in some dense foliage] Cartman: God damn stupid hippie activist! I should be home, nestled in the couch with my little Kitty right now, watching Fat Abbot cartoons and... [Cartman comes to a clearing where many bulldozers are working] Cartman: Yes! I knew it! I'm saved! [rainforest] Stan: Hey, maybe Cartman was right. Kyle: Yeah, it happened once before. Choir teacher: No, the spirit of Maya has told me to go this way. [clearing with bulldozers] Cartman: Mister, you gotta help me, I'm starvin' to death! Construction worker: What are you doing here, little boy? Cartman: I was with my class, and we got all lost in the rainforest, and I need some food, I'm fading fast! Construction worker: Lost in the rainforest? Oh my Lord! Where are all the others? Cartman: Food! I have to have food! [Cartman falls to the ground] Construction worker: Oh my God! Get this child some food quick! Cartman: Chicken wings. Construction worker: Chicken wings! Cartman: Medium spicy. [Save the Rainforest stage] [a large crowd is there] Crowd: Start the show! Start the show! Start the show! [Mr. Mackie and El Presidente are speaking Spanish] [subtitles] El Presidente: The activists are getting anxious. El Presidente: They will start throwing things soon. Mr. Mackie: I'm sure the choir will be here. Mr. Mackie: We just need a little more time. El Presidente: Well, I will try and amuse them with my Pollack jokes. Mr. Mackie: Mmmbien. [El Presidente walks over to a microphone] [subtitles] El Presidente: How many Pollacks does it take to eat a burrito? [silence] El Presidente: Two [he laughs] [silence] El Presidente: How many Pollacks does it take to drive to Panama? [rainforest] Choir teacher: Oh God, this is a nightmare! We're never gonna make the festival! Stan: Hey look over there! Isn't that smoke? [shot of smoke rising from the trees] Choir teacher: Let's go, quickly! [Yanagapa camp] Kyle: Hey, it's a fire. That means there must be people. [bushes rustling] [a bunch of platypus-like people come out of the bushes] Choir teacher: Children! It's the Yanagapa! [to the Yanagapas] Do not be afraid. We are not here to tear down your rainforest. Yanagapa #1: Dontillyae Yanagapa #2: Dontillyae Choir teacher: Look how they live in peace with all living things, gentle, noble... [Yanagapas raise their spears] Choir teacher: Run for you lives, children! Stan: Holy crap! [Yanagapas throw spears at the kids] [they run with the Yangapas chasing after them with spears] Yangapas: Dontillyae, dontillyae, dontillyae... Stan: Jesus Christ! Choir teacher: Run! Run! Run! [the bug on the choir teacher's back roars] [choir teacher screams] [bug comes off her back] [Kelly trips] Kelly: Ahhhh! Lenny! [Kenny comes back to get her] [they run into quicksand] Kyle: What the hell? Stan: We're sinking! Choir teacher: It's quicksand Yanagapas: Dontillyae, dontillyae, dontillyae.... [Cut to commercial] [Yanagapa camp] [the kids are tied up by a campfire] [the choir teacher is tied to two trees wearing a cheerleader outfit] Stan: All we ever heard while growing up was "save the rainforest", " the rainforest is fragile" Kyle: Yeah, fragile my ass! Kelly: Larry, if we make it out of this, I want to be your girlfriend, even if we do live in different places. I don't care. Kenny: {Oh, okay.} [Kelly reaches to pick her nose] Yanagapas: Dontillyae, dontillyae, dontillyae... Choir teacher: Okay, just what the hell is going on here, people? [a humongous Yanagapa emerges from the rainforest] [the humongous Yanagapa chants something kinda like a slowed-down tape recorder] [choir teacher screams] Kelly: Oh no! That big thing is going to make love to Miss Stevens! Choir teacher [pissed]: Alright! That does it! God damn stupid-ass rainforest! [Yanagapas stop chanting] This stupid place fuckin sucks! I was wrong! Fuck the rainforest! I fuckin hate it! I fuckin hate it! Stan: Oh now she figures it out! [a bunch of bulldozers come from out of the bushes] Construction worker: Quick! Everybody help the children! [a construction worker chases the Yanagapas with a shovel] [a bulldozer runs the Yanagapas into a tree and squashes them] [the bulldozer backs up and runs over a snake] [the bulldozer runs over a gigantic bug] Stan: Wow! Kyle: Dude! Bulldozers rule! Construction worker: Come on, let's get you back to civilization. Kids: Hooray! [the construction worker unties them] Choir teacher: Hooray! Children [another construction worker unties her and takes her pompoms] [by a bulldozer] Choir teacher: How did you know where we were? Construction worker: Your little friend helped me out. [Cartman enters] Choir teacher: Eric? Cartman: Who'd you expect? Merv Griffin? Choir teacher: Exactly what are you guys doing out here with all this construction equipment? Construction worker: We're clearing out big sections of the rainforest for a lumber yard. Choir teacher: Really? That's great! Construction worker: You mean, you don't mind? Choir teacher: No! I hate the rainforest! You go right ahead and plough down this whole fuckin thing! Construction worker: That's swell! Kelly: Okay, Benny, in order for our long distance relationship to work, we'll have to call each other every other day. Kenny: {Okay. I can do that} [a lightning bolt strikes Kenny] [Kelly screams] Kelly: Lenny! No! Stan: Oh my God! They killed Kenny! Kyle: You bastards! Kelly: What!? Who!? Who killed him!? [silence] Stan: They did Kelly: Who's "they"!? [silence] Stan: You know... "they" Kyle: They're... they're bastards Kelly: Well don't just stand there! Help him! Kyle: What? Stan: Help... him? Kelly: Arrgh! [she pounds Kenny on the chest] Come on Benny, breathe! [blows into his mouth] Breathe you sonofabitch! [she pounds on Kenny's chest] [Kelly picks her nose] [Kelly pounds Kenny on the chest] [Kenny coughs] Kyle: Whoa, dude! [Save the Rainforest stage] Emcee: And now, here to teach us about the rainforest is... Getting Gay with Kids. Choir teacher: Does everybody remember the new lyrics? [all the kids nod "yes"] Choir teacher: And... [Music starts] Kids: Doo doo doo doo doo. Doo doo doo wa. There a place called the rainforest that truly sucks ass. Lets knock it all down and get rid of it fast. You say "save the rainforest" but what do you know? You've never been there before. Getting Gay with Kids is here tell you things you might not like to hear. You only fight these causes 'cause caring sells. All you activists can go fuck yourselves. Activist #1: That was so inspiring! Activist #2: What a wonderful message! [screen says "Each year, the Rainforest is responsible for over three thousand deaths from accidents, attacks or illnesses"] Kid: ...Hard, boys and girls... [screen says "There are over seven hundred things in the Rainforest that cause cancer." Kid: They'll be no more rainforest left in the entire world. [screen says "Join the fight now and help stop the Rainforest before it's too late."] Kids: Getting Gay with kids is here... [credits come on] [song continues through credits and even the Braniff Airlines ad at the end] Kids: ...Spread the word and bring you cheer. Getting Gay with Kids is here, let's knock down a rainforest, what do say? It's totally gay. It's totally gay! [fin]